Friday, 8 November 2013

The Minor Pitch

The Presentation

Interim Crit Document

The Animatic

The Pre-Pre-Vis?


  1. Hi Polydoodlers!

    I will be passing by to talk about the 'difficult mother' soon, but I just wanted to see if the offer re. presenting on Friday to some pre-applicants was still a go-er? The point about these presentations is to be high-energy, very confident and, in your instance, talking up the pleasures of collaboration - and the way strengths and skills can be combined. The idea of a piece of first year work being carried forward is a good insight plus the whole issue of 'combining styles' and cgi not just having to be Pixar-tastic. Your audience are young and very enthusiastic, so unlike the presentations we give to the actual new first years in which we're trying to prepare them for the 'realities' of the course, I'd like you to inspire them. Our slot is 11am onwards on the Friday - let me know how you'd like to proceed :) Drop me an email.

  2. Hi polydoodlers,

    Okay - I'm just going to throw down a few suggestions/ideas re. & Son having watched the animatic a few times now. I suppose the point is that, while everything else is going into production re. characters, environments etc. they story can still absorb refinements, so don't see this moment as 'sigh' but rather as 'the process' - and just how worth all the back and forth it will be when it's perfecto!

    I think the audience needs to be told that the mother is dead. What I'm going to suggest means more work and a new beginning, so yes, it's radical. This is, of course, just a suggestion, but try it on for size.

    Scene 1: Opens on horse-drawn carriage as per animatic. It's raining. We see front view of father and son in their undertakers garb etc. We understand this is their job and that they're off to a funeral. The mood is very sombre.

    Scene 2: The graveside. Again we see Father and Son. We still think they're doing just another job. We see them standing before a headstone. We now see the epitaph on the gravestone; it reads, Gladys Badgersworth, Loving Wife and Mother - with the additional inscription ' Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you'. Father puts hand on son's shoulder. Cut to long-shot - two lonely figures, empty graveyard, rain.

    Scene 3 - back to beginning of animatic and whoopee-cushion sequence. After the son 'honks' I just think there should be a more complex facial reaction - so he's pleased with himself, wants his dad to be happy, but then we also see his expression fall a little.

    Scene 4 - the invoice scene. There's a line of action problem here. It would just be much easier for the audience if all the photographs etc are on the wall directly behind the father's desk. So the establishing shot of him working at his desk is from behind, so we see him, the desk and the wall of photos and paintings - including the group shot. I also think the son should be in this scene too - on the floor, maybe polishing the horse brasses. There's an opportunity here for some parallel action of some kind so; we see the father hard at work on the invoices - miserable - we see the son hard at work polishing the horse brasses - miserable; the father spills the ink, sees the bird, looks up sees the painting of the bird, then camera tracks to a newspaper clipping (or similar) in which we see same painting winning local art competition, and in this photograph, we see husband and wife standing either side of winning painting, with the wife looking on very proudly. Then, we see the son on the floor, he's now got some brass polish on his hand, so that it looks something like this:

    He makes this face smile - the son smiles, his other hand going to his bow-tie, and then his pov going to the mother's chair with the sewing box beneath it - and we're shown the polka-dot material much more obviously. The son's smile fades. At this same point, we see the father turn around and look at the chair. We see them both looking at the chair. They see each other looking at the chair. The son shows the father the hand-face - makes it smile. The father scowls, turns away, then puts the bird-paper in the drawer and slams it shut. The son, sad, looks at the chair. A clock ticks etc.

  3. Okay - so this maybe not it exactly - but having them both in the room - the chair between then feels like it will manifest the mother more so; and likewise, I think the addition of the clipping on the wall will make things clearer, and the idea of some kind of parallel action between father and son as they both find themselves pining for the mother's influence. By putting all the photos/images on the wall directly infront of the father, you do away with some of that awkward 'where's he looking now' feeling that this scene has currently.

    I also reckon the mother's song should fade in as the father sees the bird and the son makes his face and then should stop very suddenly when the father slams shut the drawer.

    The other suggestion was ensuring that someone at the funerals is grateful to the japes - a small 2d child with a look of wonder as the hats pop off, for example; a giggling little girl with frogs, a smiley old granny enjoying the dancing - 2d people that is!

    Anyway, these are the suggestions - for further discussion and interrogation!